The UniCORNER: Bruises, Unicorn Goddesses, and Rescuing Knights-In-Distress … Oh My!

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June 8, 2017 by

A long time ago (twelve-ish years) in a galaxy far, far away (Chapel Hill) there once lived a yet-to-reach-her-full-smartass-potential woman (me) who was too embarrassed to wear shorts.  Yep.  Hard to believe from my proud NGAF attitude now, but there once was a time I would have fought to the death gladiator style if anyone tried to get me to wear anything that would show skin from the knees down.

 

Or rather, anything that showed the surgical scars peppered like angry constellations all over my  lower legs.  Long (and irrelevant) story, but let’s just say that it…the entire situation leading up to said surgeries completely sucked stinky, hairy, unwashed, sailer bal—

 

*polite cough from off screen by the editor (Er … hi, Janine 🙂 )*

 

Right.  Sorry.  Not that sort of blog.  Oops.

 

So, yeah, the entire situation leading up to said surgeries was a “bit of a bother” and left me with some “learning opportunities” and “personal growth moments.”

 

It’s weird looking back on it, but I used to be hugely self-conscious over my lack of “skin perfection.”  It took me almost seven years to finally get over my insecurities and feelings of unworthiness enough to wear shorts.  Actually, the first time I got up the gumption to pull on a pair of shorts and go out in public, a lady stopped me to very rudely demand to know what happened.  I’ve always had the “fake it until you make it” mentality, so managed a blasé attitude as I spun a deeply traumatic tale of falling into a nest of fire ants as a child (not what happened) and almost dying via allergic response (also not what happened) and tearfully saying that it was the first time in years I had allowed myself to wear shorts (truth) and now she had made me feel bad about myself again (also truth).  I’m not a fan of lying, but 1- it was none of her business and 2- she acted like I was a freak and like she was entitled to my personal business.  I’m hoping that her embarrassed expression meant that she would think twice before trying to make someone feel bad in the future.

 

As you move up the levels in pole dance class, the need for more skin is prominent to execute certain moves, tricks, and spins.  Photo courtesy of Leen Isabel.

 

Still, while I had defended myself it had shaken my already shaky confidence.  How dare my body tell the story of my life, and the trials I had overcome?  How dare it not look as unblemished and perfect as the women on magazine covers, or even that of my friends?

 

How could anyone, whispered that small and insidiously nasty voice that lives within all of us, look at what I considered ugly, and not feel the same?

 

It’s kinda ironic now that that overcoming that dark time in my life was excellent training for pole dancing.

 

Or rather, excellent training for _pole kisses_.

 

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So what is a pole kiss?  Basically, it’s the slang term for the marks that pole dancing leaves behind on your skin.  Friction and pressure keeps you from falling off the pole, and unfortunately that sometimes results in pinching and bruising of the skin.  Let’s face it, most of us have never had all our weight held up by our inner thighs desperately wrapped around a metal pole (unless some people had much more entertaining school gym classes than I did), and it takes time for skin and flesh to toughen up.

 

Pole dancing may cause slight bruising due to the skin-pole contact. Pole dancers refer to these as “pole kisses” to document their fitness journey. Photo by Khara Johnson.

 

If some of you are like me (hello, anemia), you deeply bruise if a feather falls three counties over.   I’ve been pole dancing for over a year now, and I still bruise like crazy.  Super crazy.  Or maybe you only bruise a little bit from pole classes, but you still feel self-conscious and want to keep everything covered.  Pole dancing, for me, often leaves me with large splotches of dark and lurid bruising across my inner thighs, down my shins, and even on my arms and breasts.  (Seriously, does anyone else besides me practically give your breasts concussions against the pole?)

 

Friends who have had the (dubious) joy of receiving my gleefully texted pictures would ask how I was going to wear shorts during the summer.  Or skirts.  Didn’t I care that I looked like I had gone ten rounds with a rabid turtle holding a bat, and lost?

 

Yet here is the difference between who I am now, and who I was twelve years ago when I spent over a half-dozen summers completely and utterly miserable in jeans.

 

No, I don’t care what other people think of my bruises.   I’m actually rather proud of them.  They are not ugly nor do they somehow make me unworthy of being comfortable in the humid summer heat.  They also will not stop me from going to as many classes as I can.

 

Pole dancers see their bruises as badges of honor and display them proudly to their families and friends. They represent “leveling up” through their pole fitness classes. Photo by Khara Johnson.

 

Do you know what my bruises are?  What YOUR bruises, scars, stretch marks, or dimples actually are?

 

They are more than just damaged capillaries and non-perfect skin.  All of our marks are proof that we have lived and had experiences that have taught us about ourselves and the world around us.  Our pole kisses show that we care enough about our mental, emotional and physical well-being to exercise, and to dare to do something different from a treadmill.  That even though we may fall off the pole (in my case, a lot) we get back up and try again.

 

They are not bruises, they are badges of honor.  They tell the story of athletes, although many of us may never wear a ribbon or earn a medal.  They tell a story of gritting one’s teeth through the pain of feeling like all the skin is about to rip off, but still getting back on the pole one more time until the move is right.

 

In my opinion, our bruises inform the world that we kick ass and we don’t bother with names, and how cool is that?

 

Where some people see ugliness, I instead see the marks of trailblazers and unicorn goddesses.  Whether or not people know we pole dance is unimportant, what IS important is the fact that we enjoy what we do.   That we do not hide behind the embarrassment of not having perfect skin, and wear what we want to wear, and feel badass and beautiful while doing so.

 

Pole dancing increases confidence in the mind and body. It serves as a self-esteem booster for many. Photo courtesy of Leen Isabel.

 

Indeed, all of us are both badass and beautiful.

 

So as the heat of summer climbs, don’t feel nervous about any “unsightly” bruises and don’t hesitate about going to class or wondering what you can wear to hide said marks from the world.  You are unicorn goddesses (or gods) and should be proud of yourselves for your hard work.

 

That being said, since we have “kissed a pole (and liked it),” we might as well “go big or go home.”  While not everyone is comfortable telling people they pole dance (nor is it anyone’s business) I can give the Pro Tip I learned over years of answering questions about my scars.

 

*drum roll*

 

For me, pole kisses are a way to show my family and friends how tough and how much of a badass that I am. I enjoy texting pole kiss photos and posting them on social media. Photo by Khara Johnson.

 

Fantastical answers to intrusive questions tend to derail people.  Sometimes they even edge away, but it still stops the questions, LOL.  So instead of “I got these bruises kicking major butt in my exercise class” feel free to borrow and embellish upon a crazy story involving a kleptomaniac dragon named Butterscorch, the daring rescue of knights-in-distress, and the importance of watching for the break light while chasing after intergalactic ice cream truck UFOs.

 


All Aradia Fitness instructors are certified and are knowledgeable in pole dance fitness and other fitness arenas.  They also help their students along their fitness journey, motivating and encouraging them along the way.  Aradia Fitness offers various classes.  To book your class, visit our class schedule here.

 

Article Written by Khara Johnson, Student at Aradia Fitness Cary in Cary, North Carolina.

June 8, 2017